Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Unfollowed and Defriended

Someone unfollowed me on Twitter today.  And because not that many people are following me there, I know who it was.

It surprised me when she began following me, to be honest.  She didn’t seem to have any connection to writing or books, and I didn’t know her personally.  She has been on the Council of Economic Advisors.  I was like, What the hell?  I assumed she had a kid who had read one of my books.

And then today, when I went on Twitter, I was down one follower.  And I figured out that she was the one.

Is it weird that this kind of depresses me?

Since having joined Facebook in 2009, I’ve been defriended by three people.  I know who two of them are.  One of them didn’t like my politics, and the other one was someone I’d known well at another time in my life.   I think she’s troubled.  Or maybe I bored her.

When you’re a writer, you get used to rejection.  It’s not a way of life, exactly, but it is definitely part of your everyday experience.  When an editor rejects one of my manuscripts, I read the note very quickly, and then I either 1) eat something, 2) swear and eat something, or 3) stand up, stretch, and let my eyes scan the bookshelves in my office, which is my way of reminding myself that I am a person who writes books, and even if I never sell another one, no one can take that away from me.  Then I go eat something.  And then I move on.

But being rejected via social media is different.  It’s a little more personal, because at one time someone wanted to follow you or be your friend.  And then you said something, and suddenly that person was like, What was I thinking?  Poof, it’s over, and you didn’t even get a chance to defend yourself or say I’m sorry.  It’s like a bad breakup with a really passive-aggressive asshole.

What did I say that upset the Economic Advisor lady?  I tweeted about how I love my boyfriend but hate watching “Ancient Aliens.”  And about how I get depressed when I know we’re having fish for dinner.   Are these clues?  Does Economic Advisor believe that Jesus was an alien?  Does she really, really love tilapia?

I will never know.